Day 11: Pushing, Slipping

Yesterday I did my workout in the gym to avoid destroying my friend's furniture (last week I had some close calls with the living room furniture, the ceiling light, and his dog).

There was a class going on in the mirrored "group fitness" room in which I like to do my thing, so to kill time I hit the treadmill. I haven't been on one of those in months. I thought I missed running. I watched CNN, I lost myself. But twenty minutes into it I was so bored and resentful. My knees were angry with me. I wanted to start the real workout.

Finally, I got to my PCP moves! Completing the push-ups with the bars, though a gazillion times more difficult, are yielding some serious results. I feel myself sitting straighter on the subway, in class, as I type this little here blog! I can't wait to build a stronger upper body so that I can actually pull and lift myself up and out of just about anything - a fence, a window, a horse.

Now for a confession.

I debated ignoring this little Saturday night slip up (what happens on Saturdays stays on Saturdays??) but what's the point? We're here to be transparent, to admit our mistakes and grow from them.

So, on Saturday I found myself unusually stressed out with the apartment search, and after a rough conversation with an old friend, I felt defeated. At a birthday party later that evening, I couldn't seem to relax. I also didn't eat enough that day, having taught from 8 am - 3 pm with no food (it's just too hard to eat that much while teaching!). My mind kept racing with negative thoughts; I felt anxious, unsettled. Rather than talk myself out of sabotaging my health, my promise to myself, I had a drink. Just one. But it was a big one.

I know this slip does not signal the end of the world, but I'm embarrassed about how I cheated myself of the opportunity to maintain discipline during the first week of this plan.

So...who else is having these issues? And what are you doing to stay strong?