Day 3: Revolutions not Resolutions

I approached last night (Saturday) with some fear, knowing that I was going to see friends with whom excess drinking and eating is routine. I left the house hungry, because like an idiot I'd only had a small lunch (no breakfast--never again, never again will I skip this meal) of egg whites, broccoli, and half an apple.

So there I was, with the people and treats I love most in the world, all at one table: friends, family, and french fries. And I mean, hella frenchfries. French fries heaped on plates surrounding me like a barricade.

My line of defense involved chicken soup. I tried a friend's fry, and ended up drinking two glasses of wine (this is an accomplishment people--seriously). Instead of the usual sugar-salt-liquor induced buzz that accompanies most of my restaurant meals, I was focused on the food, the conversation, and the newlywed bliss of my dear friends, Toni and Scott.

Later, I felt like a failure for having the wine. Or maybe just half of a failure (since we're cutting back on food, why not self-flagellation too?). Instead of scolding myself for being a wimp who couldn't just follow directions, I kept thinking about next week's picture, what I was going to look like, and why I couldn't stop obsessing about my image.


Here's a sampling of my destructive inner thoughts: You're so vain. People around the world are suffering, have lost their homes, their loved ones, and you're twisting yourself into a pretzel trying to decide if you should reach for that goddamn fry. GET A LIFE.

Surprisingly though, this morning, when I finally figured out how to upload my first day picture, I thought, hey, that's not so bad. I have always been self-conscious of my lower body, and was surprised that the photo didn't reflect what my usual dysmorphia.



A picture can tell us a lot, but our thoughts speak the real truth.

Rather than simply resolving to let go of the pressure I put on myself to look a certain way (isn't it funny how we can see the beauty in others, and not ourselves?), I am going to make it my goal, my mission, to be motivated with thoughts of how a stronger body is going to REVOLUTIONIZE my life. How when I'm fit, I'm happier, faster, calmer, nicer...you know the drill. Better prepared to change the world. One plank pose at a time.

Sending my fellow PCPers lots of luck, high fives, and fist pumps. You guys rule!