1. Pepto-bismol tastes like butterscotch, a lollilop, an ice cream cone (pictured above, Pepto ice cream, I shit you not!)
2. Your late night binge includes a raw, unpeeled carrot. If you dream hard enough, that carrot turns into a french fry
3. Your loved ones don't want to live with you anymore because the house (and you, come to think of it) smell like fish
4. At the club, those people you used to think were so dope suddenly aren't as funny or lovable anymore (Sobriety: WAKE.UP.CALL)
Seriously, back to 1. The reason I needed the Pepto was because I had a major slip up last night, and my stomach naturally declared war on me today. Thank you, stomach, for keeping me in line (literally, at the lady's room).
It all happened so fast. The day was going well. I had a great chat with Patrick and he got me all psyched about working the iliopsoa.
Liliputian, you say?
No, iliopsoa!
The magic muscle that makes life better, brought to you by the Kung Fu sit-up and the bicycle:
I went to a yoga class because I needed a good stretch, but when I came home, the prospect of the egg white, the spinach, it killed me. Luckily my yogurt had miraculously frozen in the fridge and though it wasn't Haagen Daaz, it did the trick once I mixed in some Stevia, almond extract, and cinnamon.
Everything after that is a blur of complex carbohydrates. I think the dessertiness of the yogurt set me off and suddenly I was spooning out another frozen treat, and reaching for the leftover spelt flakes from breakfast, a sweet potato, some quinoa, two pieces of bread, and two whole wheat tortillas. I inhaled it all.
Of course, as I sabotaged myself with glucose poisoning, I envisioned all the ways I would remedy the situation the next day: a six mile run! Four days worth of exercises! Fasting!
But why punish myself? I figured a better challenge would be to start today fresh, without the castigation that would lead me to relive (and perhaps recreate?) last night's downfall. I took my mutiny in the kitchen as a sign that I have to make more of an effort to make my meals, um, edible? Some new veggies perhaps?
Funnily (or obviously), the burn in my stomach made it impossible to finish today's breakfast and lunch. So, it all worked out. I didn't have to hate on myself, just LISTEN to myself.
Later, I wondered if the binge was related to my totally irregular cycle, which has apparently turned me into Raging Bull. Today, while I was running in the park, a man riding his bike whistled and waved at me. I barked back, "I hope you fall off your bike!"
I mean, I have been known to snap when provoked but I'm surprising myself with these new bursts of aggression. So what the heck is wrong? Do I need Zen or a punching bag?
Ha ha, this happened to me TOO! I just had so much damn energy that it was blasting out in every direction, including aggression. It'll pass, just watch the thoughts. I hope you fall off your bike! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThis is somehow a relief. I thought I was becoming a very aggressive person too and I was blaming it on my cycle and winter.
ReplyDeleteBut aside from that, I usually get mad when a guy whistles or hunks at me. it's so infuriating.