Monday, April 5, 2010

Day 81 - Repenting



The ressaca (hangover) lingers...

Last night I continued to be a wreck on the couch, struggling through the grading of 100 papers (not an exaggeration). The lethargy and depression just intensified as the day went on, so I decided to meditate.

As I sat in silent stillness, I listened to this stream of negative thoughts: "You suck! Why'd you have to get so sloppy?" and the justifications for why I felt I needed to drink: "Everyone else is drinking! You're a better dancer when you're drunk!"

Somewhere, in the quiet barrage, I found something positive. A few months ago I would have treated the deadbeat Sunday afternoon as any other, totally unconscious of the damage I'd just done to myself. So I suppose there is some light at the end of my hurting liver.

At around midnight, determined to fight off the nausea and guilt with a good sweat, I changed into shorts and put on my sneakers . But my rope only made it over me a handful of times. I kept tripping, and could barely keep my body in a straight line (the hangover is a total posture buster!). So I'll continue with day 80's sets today, and catch up with ya'll on Thursday.

I'm a bit bummed to have this kind of day so close to the end. I miss the clean, tight, refreshed feeling I normally have on a PCP morning.

I didn't expect to have this strong of a reaction to the indulgence, which I hope is sign that I have actually changed!

3 comments:

  1. When your body is all clean and shiny on the inside, a usual night out will really mess it up. I just hope as a culture we can move towards less damaging ways to socialize.

    Hope you feel better!

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  2. I hope you are feeling fine again today. It looks like we have to be more careful when we party because our bodies are new. I don't even want to know which drink is my new limit. Time for a different party style!

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  3. Oh Shivani, this is exactly what I'm worried about when I first decide to have a night out. Even a couple of drinks are probably going to floor me the next day. Hope you feel better soon. You are looking a-mazing!

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